


long sleeves

by kissfortae



Series: loving, leaving, and losing [1]
Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: AU College, Angst, M/M, college fic, leaving fic, long sleeves are a metaphor, long sleeves by gracie abrams, renjun loves hyuck, roomates in college fic
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-08-08
Updated: 2020-08-08
Packaged: 2021-03-06 05:54:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 944
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25788415
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/kissfortae/pseuds/kissfortae
Summary: Every time they went out, even in the heat of summer, he wore long sleeves. Because that’s what Donghyuck said he liked about him. How he would fight for something as ridiculous and stupid as the long sleeves that tethered him.And that's why he left the younger boy with part of himself to hold on to.
Relationships: Huang Ren Jun/Lee Donghyuck | Haechan
Series: loving, leaving, and losing [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2001952
Comments: 4
Kudos: 25





	long sleeves

Renjun flinched and froze when he heard Donghyuck shift and turn over in his sleep. His heart skipped a beat and he slowly rose from where he was bent over a big box filled with his shirts and pants and little things he accumulated around the others apartment that were his. He looked over at the curled up body on the bed and sighed as he was still asleep. 

Donghyuck was always a catalyst for everything Renjun did in his life. Whether it was fighting with someone at work for being rude to Donghyuck or crying and calling off work the next day because they got in another fight over Renjun’s past. He thought back to last night when Donghyuck breathed too loudly while he was writing an essay for school and he got annoyed and took it out on him. 

Knowing he was the reason Donghyuck would cry and then act childish and hold his breath until Renjun apologized, always made him mad. 

He sat back down and continued packing the rest of his things. He grabbed the last of his things and shoved them into the box, getting up and walking to the bathroom. He pulled the crumpled note out of his pocket and placed it on the counter, he tried not to look at it but a certain line he wrote down caught his eyes. It was bolder than the rest, not intentional, but the truth, ‘I want to be alone’. 

If he told anyone why he wanted to be alone they would’ve never believed him. Donghyuck was perfect to everyone around him, hugging them only when they wanted, never being overbearing or pushy. But to Renjun, he felt invaded, pushed out of his comfort zone, broken into. Nothing could be a secret or just have for himself. Not with Donghyuck. They were too comfortable with each other, too close. 

He heard the bed creak with Donghyuck’s weight shifting and he squeezed his eyes shut hoping he wouldn’t wake up. ‘Renjun’ a small voice whined out into the open apartment. He felt a tear run down his face but he wiped it away quickly. ‘In the bathroom, I’ll be right back out, just go back to sleep love.’ He prayed that that would work and that Donghyuck was too tired to notice the big box laying in the middle of the floor, filled with Renjun’s stuff. 

When he walked back out, the younger boy was asleep again, curled up in a ball. He let out the breath he didn’t know he was holding and picked the box up. It’s not that he didn’t love the other boy, it's just that he didn’t know how to. He tried so hard, every time Donghyuck would text him an ‘ily:3’ or say it to his face, but he couldn’t. He knew that somewhere deep down he did truly care and cherish and love the younger boy, but he had too much to work through. Too many things stopping him from holding on for a little longer or staying just another night. He had too much to work through on his own that Donghyuck didn’t know about and that’s why he needed to be alone.  
He looked at the younger one last time before walking out the door. He set the key down on the mat outside the door and walked to the elevator. ‘It’s been a long time coming’ he thought to himself as he reached the ground floor and left the building. He threw his stuff in the back of his car and got into the driver's seat, turning it on. Pulling out his phone, he blocked Donghyuck’s number and changed his phone screen. It was a long time coming, him leaving. It was the best for both of them, and they both knew that. 

His friends always called Renjun the responsible one, the one that would always put fact before emotion and health before feelings. But when he met Donghyuck, he felt like that all went through the window. His rationality and ability to see reason were gone the first time Donghyuck laughed. When the other used to flirt with him in front of everyone and he’d go red with embarrassment, even if it never meant anything to Donghyuck. Flirting was his second language and he would flirt with a plant if he could. But Renjun got used to the turbulence. 

He gripped the steering wheel tight enough to make his knuckles turn white and he pulled out of the parking lot. Wearing a tee-shirt felt weird to him as he put the windows down. Whenever Donghyuck and him would go on late night drives around their campus, he would put the windows down while the tanned boy blasted Beyoncé at two am. He wore long sleeves. Every time they went out, even in the heat of summer, he wore long sleeves. Because that’s what Hyuck said he liked about him. How he would fight for something as ridiculous and stupid as the long sleeves that tethered him. 

Sometimes when he was around the sunshine boy, he felt out of place. Like dust swept under surfaces, barely noticeable without a light shining on it. Donghyuck was that light. But Donghyuck didn’t think. He never thought before he did. And that’s how Renjun slowly started slipping away as Hyuck became the life of every party he went to. That’s why he decided that the other would be fine without him. That’s why he knew it was finally time to leave, because it had been a long time coming. 

Renjun knew he shouldn’t have, but he left his favorite blue long sleeved shirt.

**Author's Note:**

> Go check out Gracie Abrams album "Minor"!!!


End file.
